We enjoyed seeing all the recent visitors. First of all Gran arrived for the Easter week and for Rune’s birthday. During the Easter vacation a birthday party was also given by a child in Vidar’s class. Here it is quite usual for siblings to also be invited along to such parties and so both boys were able to enjoy that. For his part, Rune got a truly super present from his little girlfriend Nova-Joy: they were both treated to the new Minecraft film, fantastic!
Shortly afterwards Mathijs went off for a long weekend on his motorbike, the plan being to tour round northern Germany with a good Dutch friend. They were not disappointed. Upon his return the next guests arrived during the May school holiday. They stayed in the same holiday house that we had rented in the autumn of 2023 when we had travelled over to look for a suitable school for the following year! On the same day Olivia and Jens also arrived.
We all enjoyed each other’s company and it did us good to be able to talk at length with close friends and family about what was, at the time, our main preoccupation and, indeed, it was pretty major. The main topics were: employment, schooling and our future in Sweden.
After a month of intensive “networking talks”, some 30 in all, it became clear to Susanna that the prospect of working from a distance, certainly where new prospective contract work was concerned, was going to be awkward. In fact two recruiters actually addressed that problem. The new Dutch DBA Law (i.e. on self-employment and being on payrolls) is putting more restrictions in place for people wishing to work independently for local authorities on longer term projects.
Meanwhile we both forged ahead with the job seeking but with disappointing results. For one position for a summer relief employee with the municipality the authorities received no less than 69 applications.
Susanna was turned down when she applied for two different posts at Karlstad University, just as were 92 and 108 others.
In our previous blog we mentioned the high unemployment level in the region. Well, now we have been able to experience that first hand. Being aware of the fact that as an immigrant one is always at a disadvantage didn’t help matters either. It felt like one big uphill climb whilst, in the mean time, the clock ticks on…
All of this effort was compounded by the fact that we were confronted with yet another incident at the school. One morning we dropped Rune off in his class with a teacher substitute as his usual teacher was absent. Upon arrival the replacement teacher in question was sat at the front of the class glued to his mobile. The lights hadn’t been switched on and all the chairs were still on the desks. For the 4th time that week Rune and all the other children were each presented with a picture for them to colour in. Not exactly suitable for such a highly capable and motivated 8 year old as Rune. It was the proverbial final straw that broke the camel’s back.
The respective inner conflicts then began, all of which came to a head just after Easter. The conclusion was that if we were to decide to return to the Netherlands we would have to do that in time for the new school year. Many pleasant and fruitful walks and agonizing then ensued.
The main things foremost in our minds were issues such as: to what degree is it simply down to the need to persevere, to battle through this phase? For school children life here is far less achievement oriented: no pressure, no socially obligatory activities like the Dutch after school annual summer evening walks for primary school pupils, no big competitions. Instead much is based on the notion that calmness and routine should prevail (quiet music in the class, predictability, slow and gentle progress). Surely those principles also have their merits? At the same time, we have serious doubts about this school’s future. Other schools in the area are also struggling to survive, notably when it comes to attracting sufficient talented and qualified personnel to such rural outposts. Apart from anything else, we don’t want to have to transfer the boys to different schools every year. In the case of Rune, he has finally managed to settle down but for him in particular it was very demanding.
Meanwhile there has been yet another birthday party, this time for Rune on May 10th, and on the 11th we helped friends with odd jobs in their ‘new holiday house’ that they plan to rent out from June onwards (tip for anyone who’s interested!) We still enjoy the lifestyle here very much!
What inner turmoil and what a journey it has been. Eventually we came to the difficult decision to leave — and that is still very much how it feels. Our overwhelming desire to stay here, a wish that almost became reality is not, for now, completely realistic. All things considered, the Netherlands is the most sensible solution. The children are now in such formative years and we are both motivated to maximize our work and educational opportunities in the interest of sheer job satisfaction.
How, then, does it really feel to still be living here? We feel welcome, at home, at ease and happy in this country where people literally and figuratively have the time and space. Naturally we realize that to a large extent it has been a sabbatical year in which we have had plenty of quality family time and the chance for all kinds of great adventures. Evidently that luxurious position would soon disappear if we were to remain here and work, especially since it is very much the norm to work full time.
Above all else, we are extremely thankful and happy to have had this year. We have learnt, seen and done so much. The challenge now will be to hold on to that feeling when back in the Netherlands. We shall strive to find our equilibrium, to still make time for each other and to be selective when it comes to what’s more or less dictated by social pressure. However, we shall never be fully able to replicate the way it is now. That’s something we do realize.
Still, we are keen to explore ways in which we can perpetuate our links with this region. We might in fact purchase a little house in the not too distant future. Somewhere where we can come for holidays; hold on to the Swedish dream; recharge our batteries and, not least, keep up the language skills and retain to our various contacts. Apart from anything else, it will enable us to keep alive and enrich the boys’ Swedish memories and our collective bond with this country.
We’ve decided to return to Wijk bij Duurstede. For our sons that’ll mean going back to their old school where they were always happy. Already the staff team there has welcomed us back. Returning to this familiar spot and the happy memories seems the right thing to do for the boys. The notion of seeking out a quieter rural area in the Netherlands would involve more searching and effort whilst we know that the open spaces and unspoilt nature that Sweden has to offer cannot be replicated in the Netherlands.
Once matters had been decided things moved very fast. The first piece of the puzzle to fall in place was the house. With the help a friend who did a digital viewing with us, we soon fell spotted a house with potential not so very far from our previous home. It looks out onto a park with plenty of trees and green. Within the limits of our budget that should compensate a little for what we so enjoy here. Mathijs then travelled back on his motorbike for a second viewing and to be present for the structural-technical inspection and, not least, to get a feel for the house. And it felt good. That afternoon we both signed the provisional sale and purchase agreement some 1300km away from each other.
We’ll get the key on August 11th and are already highly motivated to get cracking and do as much as we possibly can on the necessary renovating and decorating before everything arrives in the international removals van. Most of the jobs that need doing are pretty cosmetic. We shall aim to be able to get the most important things done before September 1st. In our next blog report we shall write more about how we hope that our future will pan out and the job openings. However, this is enough news for now.
To be continued…
